How Now Brown Cow?

"Opie, you haven’t finished your milk. We can’t put it back in the cow, you know."
From The Andy Griffith Show.

It is rumored they said the same of my sister. I must say that on one account I am glad they were unable to put her back in her maternal cow mother. On another, I say what goes up must come down, what comes out must go back in and what happens in the past should perhaps stay in the past. (sigh) Although, this may not make for the best blog post fodder, it may be a wise enough rule.

Bloglings: Those people who follow blogs.

My sister's bloglings may not be entirely pleased with my tone, but I say they are duped, these little cow bloglings. Since my sister is quite a success (kudos to you sis), more than likely anyone intrepid enough to be reading this are of the aforementioned persuasion. So I write to you, enemy of mine. It is you who have been entertained. It is your approval, your clicks, your coveted comments she seeks to win.

If you happen to be in the dark as for why I would say things of such seemingly blatant cruelty, I refer you to my previous post and my sister's recent blog.

One, Two, Three, Four, I Declare a Blog War

The Heifer Lover and the Heifer Hater

There are some who would say I tinker with the sacred relationship between family members, that I endanger the friendship with my sister. To this I quote the immortal Mark Twain.

"Sacred cows make the best hamburgers."

My apologies to any of the Hindu readers from Elisa's blog, but the quote is rather apt.  So let me answer a few more basic questions.

"When a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose?"
Yes, I've seen Elisa do it first hand.

"Why does Elisa like coffee so much?"
After her cow mother gave birth to her the vet said she'd been de-Calf-inated.

When the customs agent asked who she was traveling with on her honeymoon what did Elisa say?
"Me and my 'udder' half."

What are Elisa's two favorite things?
Moosic and Moola.

When asked about the state of their marriage on their five year reunion, what did Elisa's husband, Cade, say?
"He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow. It's an old Italian proverb."

Do you enjoy reading your sister's writing?
Let me answer using a quote from Lord Chesterfield. When I read Elisa's work it is like, "the mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing."

I received a most strange call the other day from someone claiming to have become a huge fan after visiting my website and reading my one blog. Elisa, elisa, elisa... I await your response.

I know you, dear reader, must be the most devoted bloglings of my sister, but I beg you. Help me draw her out into this Blog War. You can do so by going to her blog and posting cow jokes in her comment section.

Please, go to my sister's blog and support the cause by posting cow jokes in her comment section, the more juvenile the joke the better!

Crazy Writing Mom